Love, Thy Name be Herschel

Recently , Salmon X has been pondering the true meaning of his love for Tennessee, football in particular.

Ironically, what started his mind churning lately on this subject is a fact that he is almost ashamed to admit. You see... Salmon X's love for the Savage Orange runs very deep... But, what has been troubling him as of late is the fact that his favorite college football player of all time never wore the Orange. In fact, he wore the jersey of one of the Big Orange's most hated rivals.

Georgia, the 'Dawgs, the Bulldogs as they are known, produced the most prolific and exciting (in Salmon X's opinion) college running back we will ever witness in our lifetimes... Yes, everyone reading this knows who I am referring to... for this article's purpose, he will be referred to simply as "Herschel" ...

It all started when Salmon X was an up-and-coming tyke at Salmon X Middle School. Like most kids of his age, he liked sports and luckily had a subscription to Sports Illustrated, the premier sporting magazine in a pre-internet era. One lazy Fall day, young Salmon X was reading through "The Faces in the Crowd" section, as usual. He was about to put the magazine down when he remembered the reason he had started reading it in the first place, a running back named Herschel was on the cover. He remembered Herschel as the running back who literally ran over a Tennessee defender a few weeks earlier on the way to a 16-15 win in Knoxville. So, he thought, I'll read about this mere mortal who is doing all of these amazing things.

Salmon X pored through the pages, truly inspired by what he was reading. Page after page he read, marveling at the humble story of a youngster from tiny Wrightsville, GA who in a matter of a few months had captured the nation's imagination. Young Salmon X's brain began churning.

Based on his reading, young Salmon X devised a plan to emulate Herschel. 30 push ups and sit ups every 5 minutes until reaching 300 on each. Salmon X kept a log of his progress. Reaching the "Herschel 300" regimen after several months of toiling with his nose 1 inch from the floor, he pushed on. It was during this time that Salmon X's older sibling referred to his arms as "steel cable's" .

Sadly, Salmon X knew nothing of moderation even at this young age. He must do more, he thought. Once reaching 300 push-ups and sit-ups, he refused to stop. Up and down, Up and down... 350, then 400. Never allowing his muscles to rest and grow. But, this isn't the point.

Herschel will always hold a special place in Salmon X's world. But, the reason why is still unclear, or is it?. After all, Herschel had single handedly beaten his beloved Orange that year and went on to help steamroll them the next year, 44-0.

Now grown and having been able to deduce what has occurred in his mediocre, yet somewhat effervescent life, Salmon X knows the reason. More than just being a truly magnificent player, Herschel was a throw-back to the Good Ol' Days. A player who would show up first for film day. Show up on time or first for practice. Don't believe me? Just ask Vince Dooley. A player who seemed genuine and did not seem to be a showboat. A down to earth player who was as humble as they come. Salmon X now knows this is the reason he has always appreciated the one and only Herschel.

In Oooh and I,

--Salmon X